Saturday, February 02, 2008

Murphy's Law...

Tuesday, my computer monitor was flashing and blinking on and off. It only happened a couple of times, and I figured the power cord must have been loose or something. I straightened all the cords and plugs, and called it good. Wednesday when I sat down for my daily dose of blogging and reading, posting and otherwise wasting hours of time on the internet, the monitor was black. Turning the monitor off and on again gave me a picture of my desktop for a few seconds before going black again, so it was clear the issue wasn't the computer itself, thankfully. So I called tech support.

The automated voice on the phone demanded I speak to it. I know I'm old and out of the technological loop at this point, but I feel like a complete jackass talking to a computer. Can I just push a button? Please? Pleasant Automated Voice asked me to speak the name of the afflicted hardware. "If you're having a software issue, say, 'software'..." Unwilling to wait any further, I said "Monitor." Automated Voice asked me to wait a moment, then said, "Please say the serial number of your... plotter... " I don't even know what a plotter is or whether I even have one, but that's not what I said. Hoping the word, "NO!" would send me back to the previous menu, I said it a few times. Automated Voice kept asking for my plotter's serial number. By now I'm pissed off and push the #0 on the phone keypad. Automated Voice now became Condescending Automated Voice and actually said, "I can understand you when you speak to me. Please say the serial number of your... plotter..." Ack. "No, bitch, you can't understand me when I speak to you, because I didn't say 'plotter'!!"

I pushed #0 about five million times and was finally transferred to India. I then spent 45 minutes talking to three different men, first doing all their suggested "fixes" like replugging and restarting, and eventually just saying I was doing them when I wasn't. My monitor is broken. I can't go into BIOS because I can't see the fucking screen. They finally agreed and said they would send me a new one, to arrive in 3-5 business days.

On Wednesday, I called around asking if anyone had a spare monitor laying around. "My kids can't do their typing," I said. "They can't do internet research." Uh.. yeah. The kids need it. My cousin offered to bring over a spare from her parent's house, but couldn't get it for me until Thursday. Ugh.

Thursday, my cousin drove out to her parent's place to pick it up for me, then clear out to my place to drop it off. I spent a good half hour looking for cords and fighting with connectors while cramped under the desk with a flashlight. Woohoo, it worked! I sat back and viewed my desktop in all its glory. Then FedEx pulled up out front with my new monitor. Figures. Laughing, I thanked my cousin for going out of her way to bring me that spare. "You know how it goes," she told me, "If I didn't have a spare for you, they wouldn't have delivered it until next week."

So I can get my internet fix the kids can do their internet research now. Blogs can be read and posted The kids can type papers. And we can return to our regularly scheduled surfing educational activities.


Frankie said...

This gave me a chuckle. I hate, with a passion, talking to computers as well. I always to the 0 trick too.

I'm glad everything is back up and running!

kitten said...

LOL! You sound like me. I'm glad it all worked out well.
I hate them automatic calls.

Christine said...

Gah! I hate talking to the computer voice too.

Ami said...

I have a friend who says to the people with thick accents who answer the phone, "I pressed 1 for English. Could I please have that option>"

It used to be that if you did not press any button, the call would go to a person, but now you can no longer pretend you have a rotary phone.

I'm glad you got a new monitor. Now you can help me with MY daily internet fix, since your blog is one I read. :-D

Holly said...

I always end up trying to make the computer give me a person and it ends with swearing.

Glad it worked out.

Heather K. said...

I have a spare monitor in the basement for just this type of occasion. My husband just had to have a new one. He said the other one was fuzzy. Turned out he needed glasses. We kept it just in case.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that the way. We have a friend who works for a big computer company, and they just closed down the whole operation in Edmonton, so he will be unemployed in less than two months. Seems they can get buildings and employees cheaper in other countries like India, so the service calls will be going there. Interesting your call went out to a foreign place.

Tina Rod said...

Oh, I HATE talking to those computer systems!! It never fails that when I get one of those the dog starts barking or the kids tear through screaming and next thing I know I'm in some crazy option menu that has nothing to do with what I called for and no way to go back. It's weird, if I'm saying an actual word, one of THEIR choices it doesn't understand me but a barking dog or screaming kid means "transfer me to the bottom basement of hell". Ugh!! At least you are back on though, I've missed you!!