Saturday, June 30, 2007


Online Dating

Mingle2 - Rate your blog

Go rate your own blog. C'mon it's fun. I found my blog rated R due to repeated use of the words: hurt, pain, hell, bitch, and vagina.

I find it interesting (sad, sick, infuriating) that the search tool doesn't scan for the F word, which I tend to use a lot, but found the word "vagina" to be offensive.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


I am now plowing through the third day in a row that I've gotten out of bed at 6:00am. Please send coffee. In order to make Vic's new job a success, we decided (well, HE decided) we should go to bed earlier and get up together. He thinks we will spend more time together this way, but I don't know if staring at each other with foggy eyes and muttering unintelligible one-syllable words at each other counts as spending time together.

Normally, I would stay up late. Till 1 or 2 in the morning. This night owl behavior gives me time to get things done. Like reading, sewing, knitting, laundry or whatever, with a clear head and no interruptions. The extra couple of hours after the kids go to bed also give me time to unwind from the constant noise of the day. I need that time to relax enough to sleep. So this getting up early thing is killing me. I find it difficult to go to bed any earlier, since insufficient unwinding leaves me lying in bed for at least an hour before sleep finds me. I figure either I'll become so sleep-deprived that I'll eventually adjust, or I'll go insane. Either is acceptable to me at this point. They have Nap Time in the institution.

My kids have a specified bedtime, but no specified wake time. Their bed time is for my sanity, and their safety as it relates to my sanity. I figure letting them sleep as long as they feel necessary in the mornings ensures they're getting enough sleep. Before this routine of getting up at 6:00, the kids would wake me when they were all up, which was about 9:00 or so. I feel it's important to mention that I'm not a believer in using caffeine to avoid responding to the body's need for sleep. But I'm starting to realize how much of a difference the lack of sleep makes in my brain function. So I'm shamefully drinking caffeinated coffee and telling myself that I'll eventually learn to sleep at night. I will, won't I?

I'll be watching for the men in white coats.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The apple and the tree...

You know that phrase "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"? Chad and Riley are both very much like me - so much so that we often butt heads in mutual defiance and determination. But sometimes the apple falls off, rolls down a hill, drops into a river and floats out to sea, ending up on some other continent entirely. Such is the case with my oldest daughter.

For me, raising my kids means reminding myself (and my husband) constantly that they're individual people, with personalities not at all dependent on their upbringing. I guess it could be a source of extreme frustration (well, sometimes it is), but for the most part I am just awe-struck. I'm often amazed at how children raised in the same home can not only be so unlike each other, but so unlike anyone else in the house. One could spend an eternity pondering where our personalities come from and what aspects can alter them.

I'm starting to dread the words, "When I was a kid.." that Vic is so fond of uttering when discussing Chad. He mentions how driven HE was to work hard, and take pride in what he works for. I answer with, "He's not you. He's not like you. He doesn't think like you," etc. Chad must see the big picture and how he personally fits into it before taking any pleasure in work. He's just that way. Then an hour later, I'm complaining to Vic about how Cadence won't stand up for herself. She's the complete opposite of Chad, putting the needs and even wants of others before herself, and often being taken advantage of because of it. She's an alien to me. I cannot possibly imagine that line of thinking. She... Well, I don't... How can she... -- But she's not me. She doesn't think like me.

In their schooling, Chad's Big Picture thinking makes him incredibly perceptive and is a driving force to his learning. Cadence learns everything set before her in a calculated and robotic way, out of a need to please me and earn my praise. Chad always asks why, and many hours each day are spent in discussion instead of "real" schoolwork. Cadence never asks why, and is likely to get several lessons ahead in a subject before admitting she really doesn't understand it. Each child's learning must be approached from a different direction. Countless time is spent reminding Chad to focus on the task at hand instead of wandering off into left field; and also in reminding Cadence that my love is not contingent on her performance.

I think this is one of the most important, albeit hardest, lessons I've learned from my kids. The apple might end up in Timbuktu or resting against the trunk of the tree it fell from, but the soil can still be rich. Give them what they each need, and the seeds can still grow. Help them along the way, and the tree can still be strong and healthy. Even if it eventually bears oranges.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


If you haven't already, go check out Tons of free stuff to download and use. Bunches more to order at cheapo prices.

While we didn't use this program as our sole learn-to-read resource, Cadence used Zac the Rat and the other downloadable books for reading practice and loved them. She enjoyed the writing journal as well.