Sunday, September 17, 2006

Church? Gosh, no!...

Last night, Cadence and Riley stayed overnight with my mom. It's not often they get the opportunity to hang out at Grandma's without Chad, but he was invited to a sleepover.

Chad insisted he didn't want to attend this sleepover, and it took a lot of cajolling on my part to talk him into it. I'm concerned not that he doesn't friends, but that he doesn't even want to. I think a lot of factors contribute to that. One being his experience in public school was so horrible that he can't imagine putting himself in another potentially humiliating position again. He is a very high-strung kid and has a tendency to do irritating and annoying things just to bother others, and that kind of kid is often not liked very much. We're working on the behaviors, but I can't really do much about how people respond to them. I also think he's become so used to interacting with adults that he's not quite sure how to behave otherwise. So we talked about all this, and came to the conclusion that while he wasn't too interested in making new friends, he didn't want to make any enemies either. Sometimes this socialization stuff has to be forced upon them I guess ;)

On the way to drop him off, I commented that he would probably have to be picked up early because one of the other moms was really churchy and would probably be picking her boys up early so they could make it to the early service. I wasn't even talking to Chad, but he heard me and said, "I don't want to go to church." I had to explain that I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about the other boys.

While I was chatting with the Mom in Charge, I mentioned that I would be after Chad early. "I was thinking about taking all the boys to church in the morning," she said. "Would that be ok? I could drop him off after."

"Umm..." I said. I stumbled. I stammered. I finally got the words, "We're not church people," to come out.

She stared. "I know that," she said, "that's why I figured I would ask you." She was still looking at me like I hadn't answered her question yet.

"I would really rather just pick him up early," I told her.

She stared. She began to become irritated, "You don't want him to go to church at all?" Surely, I must be crazy. Or just joking. Or something. Who, even if they don't go to church regularly, doesn't mind their kid going just one time? It is an extra hour of alone time after all.

"No," I finally said, regaining my composure. All the staring and uncomfortable silence was feeding my sense of humor really. "I'll be after him at 8:30. Have a good time, Chad!" Then I left, with her gaping and staring after me.


Chad did tell me this morning he didn't want to stay overnight again with that boy. He didn't say with anybody, though. And he didn't say he didn't have a good time. That's a good sign right?

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