.. or "Reasons Not to Leave the Kids With a Redneck Ex-Marine Dad All Afternoon" :
1) Hogtying is an art.
2) Old bike innertubes make great slingshots.
3) Cats do not like duct tape.
4) Grubs are abundant when you dig.
5) Grubs make good bait and keep a long time in the refrigerator.
6) Napalm is easy to make.
7) Anything burns with napalm.
8) An air-powered pellet gun produces enough force to penetrate a metal car door.
9) Three sheets of 1/2 inch insulating foam board will support a child's weight in a pond.
10) Coca Cola makes the best burps.
Gotta love dad :)