Every 3 or 4 months, I go through a phase I call "getting organized". I go through the stacks of bills I haven't even opened, let alone paid, and throwing out all with postmarks older than the last 30 days. I sort clothes and gather bag after bag of stuff to donate to Goodwill. Sometimes I pick a room to paint or replace curtains in. I rearrange the books and get rid of those that nobody reads or that are torn beyond repair. I clean, and clean, and clean. All this is good, right?
Sure. Except it doesn't stay that way. I would love to keep my house in a state of organized cleanliness, but I don't honestly think I'm capable. I'm concerned about the message this sends to my kids: that cleaning is only a quarterly project and organization isn't even necessary. I know my life would be far less hectic if I could get organized and stay that way, it just never happens. My intentions are good, but I'm lacking something in the follow-through. The constant state of guilt this produces is enough to make a person insane. I find myself vacillating between giving up and endlessly researching life-changing organizational schedules, like suggested at Flylady.
I really think Flylady has some great information, but I'm also a bit disturbed by the idea that a SAHM's "job" should be relentlessly cleaning and organizing to the point that a schedule is not only helpful, but necessary. Not to mention I don't want to encourage the idea that Mom is equatable to Maid, and nobody else in the house is responsible for maintaining order and cleanliness. Get up and make coffee and breakfast, then get my husband up? Make breakfast for everyone, then eat myself? What does that teach my daughters about the female role in the family? What is that teaching my son about what kind of woman he should be looking for? It's this kind of feminine ideal that leaves so many women confused about their own opinions of equality and feminism. The very feeling of compulsion to keep a clean house and be a "perfect woman" is what staunch feminists are talking about when they say the SAHM endangers the feminist movement.
So, I give up. I'm lazy, and that's how I am. I embrace my laziness and accept my quarterly oranizational sessions as an alternative to perpetual exhaustion.
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1 comment:
I could have written this post :-)
Thanks for your comments on my blog! I totally agree with you. Now if only I could figure out this balance between my unschooling core and my husband's schooled-mentality.
Hey, speaking of, I'm a feminist married to a traditional man too. Although I was tricked into it.. he presented himself as a feminist..years later I realize he's not, lol. What can ya do?
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